Friday, August 3, 2012

Death by sports BRA!!!

Death by sports BRA!!!

I got a NEW under amour sports bra and it holds the girls up GOOD.  Went and taught my Jazzercise class, it worked FABULOUS!!!  Driving home I'm thinking "WOW- I need more of these bras LOVE THEM"  Get home,  ask Devon if he wants to go to the dog park with me, he says "yes, let me take a shower" actually he looks in the mirror and say "damn gurl...I cant go out like this - LOOK AT MY HAIR!!!"
So I say "I'm taking one too" (I really did say that)
I go into my bathroom and start the shower, start taking off everything and then the sports bra - I get it half way up my back not quite over my head and it stops - DOES NOT FUCKING MOVE PEOPLE - so I start wiggling, I cant get it back on- I try to move my shoulder blade thinking its stuck - NOTHING-----PANIC....I take my other hand and try to reach something - NOT MOVING I'm stuck with my right hand in the air and I get a glimpse in the mirror and start laughing - not in a GOOD WAY.  I cant move anything but my legs and my mouth so I stand there and think
"how much therapy will my kids need if I call them up here to help me out of my sports bra? - WAY TOO MUCH"
I'm pretty much naked except for the stupid damn sports bra.  I lay on the bed trying to wiggle it nothing - now I'm starting to wimp-er and I'm sweating to death because I'm running and hyper-ventilating a little bit.  I look at the time "Dave will be home in 7 hours - I can wait..." then I started wrestle with myself I felt like I was doing A LOT but really I was just violently moving my torso back and forth. I wanted to cry - but I don't- I start doing my lamaze breathing and I try to grab the back - shit I try to grab ANYTHING - finally I get it and pull as hard as I can over my head - I throw it on the ground and jump up and down on it like its a big nasty spider - I was so pissed off. 
I ALMOST DIED.... I SWEAR I DID!!!!  I know I stopped breathing a couple times.
Women's UA Original 3 A/B Sports Bra Tops by Under ArmourNot me in the picture (obviously) ....betcha she had NO PROBLEM getting off this bra!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Love your blog and I feel I’ve discovered a soul mate! Until I read your article I thought I was the only one who got stuck in situations like this. I’d bought a new sports bra and went horse riding on a very humid day. By the time I got home sweat was pouring off me and I went straight upstairs to have a shower. Ten minutes later I was in the identical position to the one you describe – bra clear of my boobs, stuck over my shoulders and below my chin. One arm was useless as it was stuck over my head whilst the other one was flailing about trying to grab some material to pull but not succeeding. I realised I wasn’t going to get it off without help and went in search of my husband. He’d been in when I got home but after some shouting and a tour of the house (carefully avoiding windows!) I realised he must have gone out. Back in the bathroom I restarted my struggles with little optimism. Five minutes later I heard the front door open. It had to be my husband so I shouted down to him for help. When he saw me he broke out into a huge grin. I almost had a go at him for leaving me in this state but thought better of it. I was in a very weak position – naked apart from the white band across my neck and shoulders and my arms stuck at odd angles. There had to be a better time to start an argument so I just waited for him to stop laughing and then asked him very nicely to help me which fortunately he did.

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